So ever since the Queen Latifah opportunity, I've been receiving hate on the regular. I'm talking about emails, blog posts, and peer jokes. The first interview I had, the reporter asked me was I going to quit my job....... the job I was working on the day that I found out I had won, the job I had the morning I walked outside to do that interview, and the job i have that I have to work all 7 days this week for.....the job that's utilizing my science degree but attempting 2 kill my spirit.........I still have. My answer to the reporter was a laugh, and a "naw....".
One of the things i have to deal with is the fact that my co-workers know about this contest, the album, the whole 9 yards......but I wasn't the one who disclosed all the info. i really didn't tell anybody at my job about it, but newspapers and tv news had got a hold of the story, so it was pretty much inevitable for them to not find out about it. But when asked about it, I really just tried to downplay it simply b/c I know how people can be. Ironically the week that the contest began and I was 1 of 3 finalists, I was out of work for about a week and a half, for surgery. When I got back, in my inbox was an email talking about 'vote for our own ....blah bah blah'. It was cool, I was appreciative, but at the same time I was like damn, now these people think they have a right to know my business.
Fast forwarding a bit, to spare you some details, time went by, I went to record with Queen Latifah, and the back to the reality routine was back into full affect. My supervisor told me one day ' i just never thought you could be so talented....you're so quiet..." What?!!!! ...so because I don't talk 2 you about my weekend, and my cats and dogs, it's impossible for me to be talented? I had somebody tell me, " yeah i saw your video submission..u're pretty talented, but i didn't vote, sorry ha ha'. So you took time out of your busy day to check my video submission on your work time, but you supposedly didn't vote for me? I never counted on any1 from my job to even know about the contest #1, but i'm so irrelevant for you to still check me out?? the ha ha is on you, and you probably voted against me in hopes that I wouldn't win. I can't even count the number of people who ask me 'are you getting paid for your music or is Queen Latifah stealing it all?'. Just yesterday I finally said 2 someone who asked me that question, 'how much do you get paid every 2 weeks, and actually, is this your only j.o.b.?' Silence.......
This, of course, is the PG backlash/hate I've received. For a little while, I would honestly let it get to me. Even, regrettably to the point where I shed some tears. In the midst thinking.... Do I tell those hating on me what my situation really is and bust their heads?, do I tell them, that their only job is my second? Do I tell them that instead of getting a business loan, I'd rather work a j.o.b. that has to be their career? Do I tell them that I am sooooo thankful for them b/c the Lord said He would make my enemies my footstool?, do I tell them that I know what they say to me is really just a reflection of how they feel about themselves?......and through many tears, and many conversations with God and my sister, I realize I don't have to do anything, but hold my peace.
I know I'm venting a little bit on here, but I also know I'm still holding onto my peace, because there is so much I could say about the haters, so many names that I could put out, but some things you need to let go. I do want to thank again all those who did vote for me, all those who believed in me before People's Choice took notice, before I had my song on the Queen's album, and especially those who took a chance and invested in my dream, and what honestly saved my life, 'Night of a 1000 songs' I thank Maia Lake for buy 10 copies, Paul nolen for buying 3, Joe Adkins for copping 2. I don't even know why I started naming folks b/c there's too many to name. Roslyn b.,Robin b, Markiea g, bryon v, Stephan G., Brianca M, Shakese H.,Ricki H, Timbrala m, Shareefah A, Emilia s., Marisa S., Danielle d, krista W., Brittany M., Ashley w, Brandon P, Nicole'Baby D' G, Ashley P, Willie l,LaKendra w, Kendra G, Tamara H, Sabrina w, Kig C, Danielle h, cool, kristi r, khadijah a, melissa m, deidra s, kenit s, toby g, Alvin c, Mia w, april s., stephanie Ivery, Queen La, Rashi s, Sam w, LB, Brizz, Renida v, Lance r, dre.......and a few more.. I knew I shouldn't have started naming folks.....but do know I know ALL those who were apart of saving my life when I thought it wasn't worth living.
Here is T.I.'s joint Motivation. One of my few friends at work had this blastin in his truck one day when we went to lunch...
Like someone I know famously stated: "When they hatin' on you, it's cause you gifted"
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